My First KAL

For those that don't speak knitting, KAL stands for Knit Along -- a group of people working on the same project at the same time.  We're knitting the Estelle cardigan. Paula from the Knitting Pipeline podcast was the person who suggested "Estelle" for a KAL.  Knitting Pipeline is my favorite podcast.  Check it out -- there's plenty to enjoy even if you're not a knitter.

It's my first attempt at knitting a sweater/cardigan.  I'm embarrassed to admit how many times I've started over, I'm having some issues with gauge.  I was blessed to be gifted the yarn to participate in the KAL. It's from Quince & Co.  Their yarns are wonderful!   I'm using the Lark yarn in the Delft colorway.

It's not too late to join in. If you're Ravelry member, there's a group for the Estelle KAL as well.

Not the Mother's Day I'd Hoped For

Not that the title of this post has anything to do with my daughter -- it doesn't.  We spent some time together today and it was lovely.  We went to the hospital of course, to check on my husband (her father) -- this relates to the title.

Exactly one month ago my husband underwent risky, "last resort" surgery that was supposed to turn things around and allow him to make forward progress towards getting well.  After the surgery was complete and the surgeon came out to talk with us -- "we accomplished what we set out to do",  "the next 24-48 hours are the most critical" -- I asked him if he had any idea when my husband might be able to come home and he replied, "Probably 3-4 weeks."  I expected to have him home -- not well, but home -- by Mother's Day. The best laid plans...

Thirty days and two hospital-acquired infections later, we're no closer to knowing when he'll be coming home.
The results of a CT scan done last week showed another large pancreatic pseudocyst.  He'll have to undergo surgery again. It's apparently infected and the infectious disease doctor has him on three different antibiotics, but his white count is still over 24,000.  He's scheduled to see his surgeon Thursday.

When things are "normal" he works a physically demanding job installing elevators and escalators (dangerous work).  He lifts equipment that weighs hundreds of pounds; climbs ladders while carrying heavy cables and all sorts of things that require a lot of strength. As I watched him struggle during physical therapy I had a difficult time seeing him, in my mind's eye, healthy and strong.  He was only able to stand unassisted for one minute before his legs were shaking badly.  He can do one lap in the PT room using a walker with wheels.  The man who could lift a two hundred pound elevator door is having a difficult time with four-pound weights. He tries hard and gives it all he's got.  The doctors say that once this is over and he's fully-recovered that he'll be just as he was before and I'm trying to hold on with faith that he will.

If you pray, prayers are appreciated.

Back Again

Where has the time gone?  It's cliche, but it's true -- time does fly.  And the older I get, the more quickly it flaps it's wings.

I did actually have some blog entries for 2010, but they've disappeared. On my Dashboard, it says I last posted in June, 2010, but those post are nowhere to be found.

So where have I been?  On a roller coaster for the most part.  My husband's layoff woes continued throughout 2009 and into 2010.  Just when he was about to get back to full-time work at full-pay, it all came crashing down.

It started out a typical weekend with my husband spending time on his hobby,  1/8 scale live steam and diesel trains.  It was November and the last run weekend for the year, so he stayed down at the track extra late even though he was scheduled to go on an all-day train ride with two of my half-brothers on Sunday afternoon.  He came home about 11:00 p.m. on Saturday and he seemed fine -- took a shower, grabbed a late-night snack and prepared to wind down so he could get to sleep.  He was supposed to be up early on Sunday morning.  After he had his snack, he began to complain that his back was hurting.  This wasn't unusual as he's had back problems for several years the result of a fall over 20 years ago.  He took an Aleve and muscle relaxant and went to bed. By Sunday morning, he woke me up and said, "You need to take me to the hospital. Something's wrong...I've never experienced pain like this."  By his description, I felt reasonably sure it was a gall bladder attack (my gall bladder was removed in 2008).  I got dressed and we headed to the emergency room.  I was correct, he had gall bladder disease, but his had triggered pancreatitis, an extremely painful condition.  They pancreas was significantly inflamed, so they wanted to put him on a clear liquid diet for a few days to give the pancreas time to "calm down" and then do surgery to remove the gall bladder.  He was hospitalized, but after three days on the clear liquids he hadn't improved.  They decided to go ahead with the surgery, thinking that removal of the diseased gall bladder would get the pancreatic inflammation under control.

The first indication that things weren't going to go well began in the recovery room.  After the surgery, my husband couldn't breathe on his own and was placed on a ventilator.  Fortunately, over the course of the next 24 hours his lung function improved and he no longer needed artificial assistance to breathe, thankfully.  The surgery itself hadn't gone quite as smoothly as they had hoped and there was a leak in the bile duct that required a stent placement.  Two different surgeons made two unsuccessful attempts at placing the stent. Doctors decided to wait a few days to see if the leak stopped on its own. It didn't and the pancreatitis triggered a domino-effect of health deterioration.  Before a week was up, doctors were telling me that he only had about a 30% chance of surviving.  "His age is in his favor, but..." is a phrase I heard over and over. Internal organ systems began shutting down -- first the renal system, which failed completely within hours, and then the gastrointestinal system causing paralysis of the stomach and intestines.  He developed infections they couldn't diagnose, so they were treating him with powerful last-resort antibiotics.  He began dialysis and was relocated to a large medical center where a team of doctors who are experts in doing ERCP successfully placed a stent in the leaking bile duct.

In the interest of attempting to shorten this post, below is a list of his health problems and where he is currently.

      Gall Stones - Resolved through surgery
      Pancreatitis - Ongoing
      Bile Duct Leak (post gallbladder surgery) - Resolved
      Renal Failure - Occurred in November, December and February. Currently improving, thank God.
      Infection - Ongoing, as of this writing, he's being treated for his third hospital-acquired infection.
      SIRS (Systemic Inflammatory Response Syndrome) - Ongoing (a cousin of sepsis)
      Diabetes - Intermittent.  He was not diabetic prior to this.
      Paralytic Ileus - Ongoing
      Gastroparesis - Ongoing
      Pancreatic Pseudocysts - Surgically removed in April.
      Bowel Obstruction - Ongoing (due to inflammation)
      Pancreatic Necrosis -Surgical removal in April.
      Hypertension/Hypotension - Intermittent
      Metabolic Acidosis - Currently resolved.
      Anemia (Low Hemoglobin): Ongoing, despite numerous blood transfusions.

He receives nutrition via a gastrojejunal (or GJ) feeding tube.  His formula goes directly into the small intestine in order to bypass the stomach. He is on continuous feed 24/7.  He is also being fed through his PICC line. This is something new, just added within the last week.

His surgical incision (16" across the abdomen) is doing well.  The surgeon closed only the layers of muscle, leaving the rest of the incision open.  This, as you can imagine, looked horrible and was/is very painful.  They are using VAC therapy to assist with healing.

It's been a long, difficult journey for our family and it's not over.  The doctors and surgeon assure us that he will get well, be able to work and enjoy life again.  So we wait, we hope, and we pray.  And prayers are answered (not always as quickly as we would like, but they are answered). :)  We have been, and continue to be, blessed by the faithfulness of friends and acquaintances in numerous ways and we are so very grateful. When the chips are down, you do find out who your friends are. It is truly amazing, always a blessing, and often surprising.

Long Time, No Post

Sadly, after just two months, the Burden in my March post returned. And again, we were blind-sided. The company that hired my husband closed down. We are beginning the seventh week of this layoff with no good prospects in sight. Since I haven't had any good news to report, I've stayed quiet. Actually, I've written a couple of post, but deleted both.

I've been learning to knit! Yes, I've added another craft to my hobbies -- my husband says I enjoy doing too many things. I've wanted to learn to knit for years (since high school -- back when dirt was new), but I couldn't manage to learn how from books. I tried different times over the years and it just didn't work for me. Anyway, I was in Hobby Lobby, not looking for anything in particular, and spotted a learn-to-knit DVD in the clearance section. I grabbed it and headed for the checkout (before the layoff, thankfully). The visual aspect of watching over the knitter's shoulder did the trick and I've been happily knitting......dishcloths. Actually, I think I'll use them in the bathroom, so I'll call them "spa cloths". :p I am so very ready to move on but here's the thing, you can buy the cotton Sugar'nCream yarn on sale for a dollar a skein. Given our current situation it isn't so difficult to justify a one dollar purchase for entertainment and two spa cloths. :)

My daughter's caught the knitting bug too and we've had fun going to yarn shops to check out their yarns...hundreds of skeins and hanks in gorgeous colors. I'm a long-time yarn snob...say no to acrylics! No offense intended to those who love their Red Heart.

I'm going to confess that I did purchase yarn to make a scarf to wear to Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (hoping that we can go). This is the best quiz we've found of the many Sorting Hat quizzes on the 'net. I'm in Ravenclaw. And yes, I probably am a little old for this sort of thing, but I'm blessed to have a daughter who thinks it's cool that I'm willing to don a Harry Potter scarf and wear it in public.

He Is Risen

God sent His son, they called Him Jesus
He came to love, heal, and forgive.
He lived and died to buy my pardon,
An empty grave is there to prove my Savior lives.

A Burden Lifted

Things have been rough around here. My husband, having received a glowing work review at 5pm on a Friday afternoon, was gob-smacked the following Monday at 5pm when his boss showed up and laid him off. This happened several weeks ago, which is why I haven't posted lately.

As big a surprise as his lay-off was, I felt optimistic that something would open up for him. He is a union worker and the local BA wasn't giving him any hope of finding anything until June. But I prayed, and others prayed; and I still felt God was going to provide. Every time there was even the slightest glimmer of hope, I thought, "This is it," and then it wasn't.

He arrived home at 9:30 after a union meeting tonight, bearing bad news -- nothing out there, probably won't be before sometime in June. We'd already been on the phone yesterday trying to work with our mortgage company. They gave us a grace period -- until March 31!! Woo hoo.

My husband's cell phone rang about an hour after he got home. The owner of a company had been at tonight's union meeting and he offered my husband a job.

Great is Thy faithfulness.

Happy Birthday, Dad

Dad and me - 1963.